


Introducing Darcy

by Crejhov



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Hulk (2003), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Americans, Ass kissing starts with Darcy, Awesome Darcy Lewis, Bad Driving, Bribery, Caffeine Addiction, Captian Cutie-Booty, Darcy Lewis Has A Muscle Fetish, Darcy Lewis's Questionable Paternity, Darcy Lewis's Taser, Darcy Lewis's iPod, Darcy's the glue, First Meetings, Four Loco, Friendship, Gen, Hero Themed Delicates, Interns & Internships, Jack Booted Thugs, Lewis vs. Sitwell, Phil Coulson's Shit List, Phil Coulson's a Sugar Daddy, Rude Drawings, SHIELD, Shadow Puppets, Steve Has The Eye Of The Tiger, Zombie Marathon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-03-12 20:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 16,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3353666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crejhov/pseuds/Crejhov
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The many first impressions Darcy makes to those around her. </p><p>Next up: Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jane Foster

Jane's first meeting with Darcy wasn't anything special. She was just another student with eyes glued to her phone and the latest top hit blaring through her ear buds. Knit hat, Culver U. sweatshirt and eye-bleeding pink yoga pants, there were a hundred or so students just like her running around campus. Half of them were probably more qualified, too.

Darcy Lewis was the only applicant for a semester long internship. The only reason Jane hadn't sent her on her way was because she was holding two cups of coffee in her hands. So far, she had only sipped at the one in her left hand. Jane stared for a long moment at that extra cup of coffee in the student's right hand before looking back to the file on her desk. “You're a political science major?”

“Yep.” Darcy popped the 'p' and then took an aggravatingly loud slurp of the half-drunk cup. Jane flinched only a little bit. 

“This internship is for science majors, why did you apply?”

Darcy leaned forward. “Alright, this is kinda a cop out. You know Professor Bricker?” Jane nodded. “Well, I had to drop out of his class last semester because he kept making grabby hands at the girls.” Even beneath the bulky sweatshirt it was easy to see Darcy was a woman with natural bounty. “I really need those six science credits to graduate.”

Jack Bricker was a grabby old bastard so really, she couldn't fault the girl. Still, Jane needed someone who knew the math and science and would be able to walk away with something from this. Darcy didn't fit that bill in any respect. Opening her mouth with every intention of declining her application, she paused. The other woman had taken the full and still steaming cup of coffee and slide it across the desk to Jane in a very deliberate manner.

She should have been embarrassed by the amount of longing in her stare. It had been a long and frustrating day and it wasn't even close to being over yet. Jane leveled a look of unimpressed disappointment at Darcy. “Is this a bribe?” 

Darcy raised her eyebrows with a knowing smirk. “There's more where that came from.”

Well... what's the worst that could happen, right? And there was no one else, coffee girl was better than nothing. “You start next week, be here at ten thirty on Thursday morning and we'll work out a schedule.” All of this was said in one hurried breath before inhaling the coffee. Her entire mouth was screaming in protest from the sudden and scalding liquid, but the effect was instantaneous. “Bring coffee.” She hummed into the plastic lid. 

Darcy leaned back in her seat and tipped her own cup in a toast to what was probably a bad idea. “You won't regret this. Sciencey stuff isn't my best subject, but I can organize and micro-manage like a boss.”

Such a bad idea, but such good coffee.

Something in the back of her mind clicked as she sipped on her glorious fuel. “Lewis? Weren't you the coed who tazered Bricker.”

Darcy's wide mouth split her face into a prideful smile full of teeth. “Yes I did.”


	2. Erik Selvig

Erik stared long and hard at the steaming meatball sandwich in front of him. One moment he had been glancing over Jane's out-of the-box (far reaching) research and the next moment the papers had disappeared and a sandwich sat in front of him. Had his brain short-circuited? What happened? Where were the papers?

“Eat up, you can't change the world on an empty stomach.” 

Looking up he saw a young woman with long dark curls and a pair of reading glasses on the tip of her nose. Her words mirrored what his own mother had told him time and time again in his youth. He smiled at the memory. “You must be the intern.”

She pushed the sandwich closer to him. “Usually, I go by Darcy.”

He picked up one half of the meatball sub. “Darcy, then.” A loud groan from his stomach sounded its protest and he took a bite. 

Satisfied, Darcy moved over to Jane and swiftly switched out the printouts in her hands with another sub. Apparently used to the motherly henning, Jane ripped into her sandwich with about as much grace as a starving lioness. Darcy took a seat between himself and Jane and pulled out her own meatball sandwich. 

The next ten minutes were spent in silence as they all ate their late dinner in preparation for a long night. Erik let himself drift back in his memories to the countless times his mother had interrupted all night study sessions with a nice hot meal. With a full belly, he had always been ready to take on the world. While Darcy was much shorter and had dark hair and a curvier figure, she shared the same spirit as his mother. It wasn't something one often saw in a scientist. Tomorrow he'd learn that she wasn't a scientist.

“Thank you for the meal, Darcy.” He said with a heartfelt smile.

She turned her head to him and returned his smile. “That's what I'm here for.”

Erik let out a surprised laugh at hearing his late mother's words out of this near child. “Of course, let me know if there's anything I can do for you.”

Her kind blue eyes sparked with mischief and she opened her mouth but was promptly cut off by Jane. “No, Darcy.” Darcy giggled and gave him a wink before going about to collect the trash. 

Feeling much better, Erik picked up Jane's research on the odd aurora sightings. While the reason he had come down here may be a try on his patience, at least he knew Jane was well taken care of in her mania for something exciting and new, however ridiculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'd like to do this in order as much as I can. So far I have Jane, Erik, Thor, Coulson and Hawkeye. Any suggestions on who to use between the events of Thor and Thor The Dark World would be welcome. I already Know I want to stick Maria Hill around the time of the Avengers. 
> 
> And thank you for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks.


	3. Thor Odinson

Thor stumbled to his feet, the transport vehicle that had hit him had since been shut down and its occupants had gathered around the bifrost sight. An old man and two small women. None of them worth the consideration of a threat. Ignoring the three, he looked to the darkened sky and called up to his father. Surely he couldn't mean to banish him to this realm? His point had been made and now he could be returned to his rightful place as Crown Prince of Asgard.

He turned back to where the man and one of the women were crouching down by the ruins left from the bifrost. Demanding his location got him nothing but incredulous looks from the two and no answer. It was the other woman, the one who had stayed back who answered. 

She pointed her lantern and a small black box at him as though it were a weapon. He sneered and lurched forward like a drunkard. “You dear threaten me, Thor, with so puny a weapo-” 

The feeling of something small embedding itself in his chest was his only warning before currents of lightning seized his form. He had occasionally wondered what it would be like to fall to the might of his hammer and now he knew. When he would wake he would make note to apologize to Loki for all of his 'accidental' strikes. He would also make note of the fierce lady warrior with her command over lightning despite her small stature. For now, however, he would succumb to the darkness calling to him.

When he woke up an hour later, he had not the time to think about the old man or the two women. The threat off imprisonment surging through his veins as he fought of the men around him. Underestimation seemed to be the order of the day as they too, subdued him quite easily.

His second awakening, he found himself to be bound to a bed of some sort in an empty room. Freeing himself proved to be more difficult than it ought to have been. Once free, he escaped the building only to be once again knocked flat by the very same transport as before.

Upon waking for the third time, he found a small woman with long dark curls hovering over him curiously. “Hey, you're awake.” She poked his arm with a finger and nodded along with some thought she didn't see fit to share. 

A gritty memory unfurled. “You, you were the wielder of the weapon that felled me.” He glanced down to her hands to find them empty of the small weapon.

The lady warrior snorted and grinned at him. “And don't you forget it, buddy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added chapters for Sif (chapter 5) and Sitwell (chapter 6) upon request. I have about 23 chapters planned out for this, if you can think of anyone you'd like to see meet Darcy let me know, I want to try to get everyone I can. And thank you all for the kudos, bookmarks and comments.


	4. Phil Coulson

The first time Phil see her, he's overseeing a team pack away all of Foster's research and atmospheric data. While Foster attempts to reason with him over the (truthfully and unlawful) seizure of her property and Selvig attempts to pull her back, Lewis hovers behind the two. Darcy Lewis, the unqualified intern, the extra, has pulled Foster back into her chest. Her shoulder rests on her superior's shoulder as she rubs her hands on the other woman's arms. Phil blinks at the speed at which it calms Foster. 

Its an anomaly he hadn't anticipated. The two had only known each other for a month or two, they shouldn't be close enough to warrant that level of comfort in each others company yet. All evidence found in Lewis's dossier show her to be loud, obnoxious and quick to (admittedly, warranted) violence with nonlethal weaponry. According to the look in on Foster's life, she was a mostly abrasive and seclusive. There was a reason Lewis had been the only applicant to her internship. 

It was strange and unexpected. After more than twenty-five years in the game, it had become a rare occurrence to be surprised. Even if the upset was minor and simple. Phil would keep the pair in his peripherals, you didn't get to be level seven for missing the little things.

This particular gut instinct was proven correct several hours later when false identification for 'Donald' turned up in the servers. It wasn't the best he had ever seen as it was immediately outed as fraudulent, but it was better than most. Especially when techs found the program attached to “Donald's' ID that had gone through their servers and downloaded all of Foster's data and research. Apparently Lewis had engaged in a brief affair with a member of the Rising Tide, a group of hackers, and had picked up a few tricks. One of which included hacking into his personal file for his phone number. 

Among some of the equipment that had been lost or broken (some of it had been held together with duct tape and/or paperclips) one iPod had been added to the list. She had changed his ringtone, wallpaper and the names of all his contacts until he promised the safe return of her most treasured possession. 

While her tactics were annoying and juvenile, it had brought to light Agent Babcock's kleptomania. Barton had thought the whole thing hilarious and had laughed about it for days, taking every opportunity to tell anyone who would listen. Garret had been delighted to learn his contact had been changed to Morgan Earp and now preferred the name to his own. 

Darcy Lewis was a headache and a half on a good day, on a bad day... well, it was best not to remember that particular instance. At least SHIELD to Foster and Co. relations had improved dramatically once Lewis was in possession of her iPod once again and at the end of the day, Phil considered it a win. He also kept a steady supply of Coffee Bean and iTunes gift cards sent her way and if occasionally they had the name of some unfortunate soul on his list, than it was purely coincidental. And usually highly entertaining.


	5. Sif

Sif kept her eyes forward, ignoring that Thor had taken to the sky with the older of the two mortal woman while the younger one openly stared at her. Darcy, she had said her name was, herded them into an earthbound ship that was cluttered with an odd assortments of small machines and cutlery. She did not remember Midgard being this strange during her last visit. 

The Lady Darcy had insisted that Sif take the seat to her right while she manned the transport. The others finding their place in the back with the older mortal. Keeping her eyes resolutely forward into the endless expanse of sand and rock, Sif finally addressed the mortal directly. “Why do you stare at me so, surely I cannot be that interesting?”

“Dude, you're like the baddest babe I know. The way you speared Megatron,” She made a wild gesture with her hands that caused the ship to jerk. “It was so awesome!”

Ah, so that was it. Though the wording was unclear, the gist remained the same. Sif allowed a small smile to settle upon her lips. It had been several centuries since a mortal revered her battle prowess. The world of man had once prayed to her as the Goddess of War. Though usually, the women had preferred Thor or one of her comrades to her. A fair maiden had no place on the battlefield after all. 

“I thank you Lady Darcy, for your acknowledgments.” Darcy giggled, a brilliant smile splitting her face.

They arrived at the sight moments later with Thor and the mortal Jane already having touched down. Before she could join her brothers in arms, a soft tug on the hem of her tunic diverted her attention. Darcy stood there holding a thin, black device. “Can I get a picture with you before you guys take off?”

Sif stared at her, not understanding. Darcy seemed to sense this and moved in beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. The device in her other hand was lifted until it was eye level. What was once a smooth black surface was now the reflection of herself and Darcy. Evidently, Midgard had come a long way in their use and creation of technology since her last visit. 

“Smile!”

And so she did, the screen of the device blinking. 

“Thanks, Sif!” She said, her rose lips spread wide in excitement. “Kick Loki's ass!” Sif found herself mirroring the mortal woman's expression.

With a nod she moved to the bifrost sight. “Farewell, Lady Darcy. I shall endeavor to continue being the 'Baddest Babe'.” Darcy gave a whoop just as Hiemdall called them home. 

While she could do without the company of the other two mortals, the Lady Darcy was a welcome companionship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to fit just about every named character in the MCU. If you have any suggestions please ask.


	6. Jasper Sitwell

Jasper wondered if the girl in the next room could feel his stare burning a whole through her skull. Sure, he was on the perfered side of two-way glass, but he liked to think that he had enough experience under his belt that she could sense his distaste for her doings. If she could indeed feel his gaze, than she was doing a remarkably good job of ignoring him. 

For the last half hour, Darcy Lewis had been sitting in the same interrogation room Coulson had used for the (honest to God) alien prince, Thor. It was going about as well for him as it went for Phil. The goal of this was to make the little college intern sweat as she sat alone in a bright white room with nothing but two chairs, a table and her file. Two minutes in, she had opened the file and glanced through it. Three minutes after that, she had picked up the pen and started doodling, giggling the whole time. 

He was pretty sure she was drawing rude and inflammatory cartoons. There had been plenty of those scribbled about in the margins and on scrap paper when Coulson had given the order to collect Foster's research and data. Her childish giggling only further proved his assumption. Setting his empty mug down, he finally entered the room with Lewis.

She glanced at him when he slid the door closed behind him and didn't even have the common decency to look embarrassed at being caught. Closing the folder, she slid it to the center of the table and set the pen on top with a smile. Jasper held her gaze while he took the opposite seat and maintained eye contact until a normal person would look away. Lewis's smile only widened which didn't bode well for the conversation he was about to have with her. 

“So which one are you? I've already met Agent C.” It had been a while since he had last gotten a MIB reference thrown his way. 

“Agent Sitwell.” His tone short and eyes conveying just how unimpressed he was with her. “Do you know why you're here, Miss Lewis?”

She leaned back in her chair. “Could it be because of the aliens that touched down and the Doom Bot that set fire to half the town?”

Cute and clever, she was not. “You're a security risk.” He pulled her file toward him and opened it up. Just as he had suspected, there was a detailed drawing of a dancing penis wearing a sombrero. It was eerily similar to a sketch of the same nature on the wall of a men's restroom at an Outback Steakhouse in D.C. It was probably just a coincidence. 

Jasper pulled out two printouts of her Facebook page. On the first was a picture of Thor, with the comment 'Num Num, Pancakes!'. There were various comments about how 'hot' the man was, over five hundred likes and more than two thousand shares. The second page was from earlier today and featured a selfie of Lewis and the female alien, Sif. Both women were smiling and it had earned them fifty plus comments about their beauty along with likes and shares. Jasper pushed both of the sheets of paper toward Lewis with a frown. 

An unladylike snort was his response. “Nice.” Then she looked up at him and raised her eyebrows. “Oh, like anyone knows they're from another planet.”

“That's not the point.”

She rolled her eyes. “Then what is? Are you here to scare me into not letting the world know about aliens in New Mexico.” Lewis leaned in with a wicked gleam in her eye. “You guys dropped the ball there, everyone already knows about the little green men you keep in Area 51.”

Despite his best efforts, his eye twitched. Darcy Lewis was a pain in the ass, his ass in particular. If she made herself enough of a nuisance he could probably get Hill to sign off on an assassination order. She wasn't necessary to Foster and Selvig, it was for the good of the world. And if Hill vetoed his request, Hydra would probably carry it out. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments, kudos and bookmarks. I really appreciate them.


	7. Clint Barton

This was an abuse of power, plain and simple. Coulson needed to learn to take a joke. What's a little good natured ribbing between comrades? A six level demotion apparently. Not even when he had been first brought into SHIELD's fold had he been reduced to a courier. It was almost like trailing after his brother at the circus all over again but without the peanuts and elephant shit. 

It was just like Coulson to time this joke of an assignment so that he'd just miss Foster and her assistant or whatever the hell she was. That meant he had to haul his ass all the way over to Virginia (on his own dime no less) to give the woman her iPod back. He wasn't allowed to just mail it, his instructions had implicitly stated that he was to deliver the scratched little piece of crap in person. At least the college girls were cute. Too bad they were all too young. That didn't stop him from winking at a couple of the girls here and there. 

According to her schedule (no it wasn't an invasion of privacy if it was for global security), she didn't have any classes so he'd try his luck at her dorm room first. Luck was on his side, not only had the RA slipped him her number after some light flirting, but Lewis answered her door. In a tee and Captain America themed panties. No wonder Coulson liked her. He didn't see the taser until she was brandishing it in his face. 

Quick reflexes had both of her wrists held in his hands before she could fire the damn thing. The compiled file on her said she wasn't shy about using it. “What the hell?”

Relief flooded her once cautious face. “Oh good, you're not a zombie.”

Well, that was a new one. “What?”

She pulled back against his hold and he released her, taking the taser in to his possession. He knew better than to let a woman with a hair trigger hold a weapon when he was the only target around.

“I've been marathoning zombie movies and my brain's kind of fried out.” To her credit, she didn't even look embarrassed, just frazzled.

He looked over her shoulder and saw a dark room lit by the faint glow of a television. The blinds and blackout curtains were drawn to block out the midday sun. The bed was rumpled and there was an assortment of junk food scattered about on various surfaces. 

“Right. Anyway, Agent Coulson wanted to make sure you got this back,” He pulled out the purple iPod from his pocket and held it out to her. “He also wants you to stop harassing him.” Coulson refused to keep him as 'Batman' in his phone. 

Lewis let out a squeal and snatched the device up with the speed of Mr. Miyagi. She turned it over inspecting every inch of it before looking up at him. Clint had been on the opposite end enough times to know when he was being seized up. “You like zombie movies?”

He shrugged. “Whatcha watching now?”

“28 Weeks Later. I just started it.”

Clint smiled and she stepped back to allow him into her cave. “I guess I could stay for a little bit.” He plopped down on her bed with his back against the wall. Lewis passed him a soda can. “You gotta put on some pant or something.” She was too young for him and it was hard to keep his eyes off the stars and stripes running across her ass. 

While his vision was far superior to his hearing, Clint was pretty sure she muttered 'Nazi' as she squirmed into a pair of sweats. Maybe this wasn't such a bad assignment after all.


	8. Betty Ross

It had been three months since Bruce had run again. Her father, ever persistent and obtrusive had kept her under constant and obvious surveillance. It had gotten to the point where the Board had sent her several strongly worded notifications that highlighted the point where if this were to continue than she would need to be let go. If Betty were the type of person to place blame, than she'd blame the General for everything bad that had happened to her and Bruce since that fateful day. Her loss of employment would have only been the latest item on an ever growing list. 

Then, a man had come to her office, a government agent with a group called SHIELD. He told her they had taken over the investigation into the Hulk. He had shown her pictures of Bruce, in Calcutta of all places, said that he was doing good work as a doctor there. He promised that they would leave him and keep other interested parties off his back. When she asked why he was telling her all of this as the General had always kept her in the dark, he said it was to establish trust. Should any information pertaining to the Hulk make it into her hands, she was to turn it over to them and in return they would keep her in the loop where Bruce was concerned. 

It made her feel sick inside, like she was signing over a piece of her soul. But she did it anyway. She was weak and needed to know that he was alive, that he was safe, that he was happy. Agent Sitwell of SHIELD was the only one who could offer that, the only one who would offer that to her. So she agreed and prayed for the best.

She saw the agent to the door of her office where he passed her a card with three numbers on it. The first was his, the other two were direct contacts for SHIELD emergencies. He instructed her to use all three numbers with discretion and he'd keep her abreast of Bruce's situation monthly at the very least. 

He opened the door and gave her a nod she had come to associate with government types, and made to turn and leave when he paused. Following his line of sight she saw a young woman walking down the hall toward them. A student judging by the university tee she sported. Long dark curls and a healthy figure if a little short, the girl's total concentration was on the candy colored mp3 player cradled in her hand and plugged into her ears. She was a pretty little thing that had turned the heads of two boys her age at the opposite end of the hall. Agent Sitwell didn't seem to share their sentiment, in fact he looked like he had swallowed a lemon or two.

The woman looked up then, her eyes zeroing in on the Agent Sitwell. “Agent S!” She exclaimed, pointing a vibrant purple lacquered finger at him and then clutched her iPod to her chest in what can only be called a protective manner.

With raised eyebrows she turned to the seemingly polite and helpful agent in question. His eyes slide to meet hers and gave her an apologetic type of look before focusing on the coed before them. “Miss Lewis.” It looked as though even her name left a bad taste in his mouth. What had this woman done to garner such a reaction from him?

'Miss Lewis' turned to her. “Be careful, his secret shadow organization has a nasty habit of stealing research. Just ask Jane and Erik.”

“Jane Foster and Erik Selvig?” Betty turned to the man she already had doubts about trusting with renewed regret. 

“As you well know, there was a security risk that needed to be assessed. Doctor Foster's research was returned to her in a prompt manner.” 

Betty was an army brat by birth and an intellectual by education. She knew how to read between the lines just fine thank you. “I see.” Her smile was as big and fake as his answer to Lewis had been. “I'll call you should anything turn up.”

Agent Sitwell paused before giving his own goodbyes and glared a bloody death to the girl as he passed. To her credit she returned it just the same with some added mischief twinkling in her eyes. Both women watched him round the corner and out of sight. 

“You should totally check your office for bugs.” Lewis said. “Jane's got a scanner you can borrow.”

Doctor Jane Foster was a bit eccentric at times and had become more so over the last few months. “I think I might take you up on that.” But maybe, it was warranted if she had had dealings with this SHIELD group.


	9. Maria Hill

Maria Hill had heard plenty about Darcy Lewis before actually meeting her face to face. Coulson thought she was clever, Barton thought she was funny with good tastes in movies, Sitwell had requisitioned her silent removal since his meeting with Doctor Ross. He had been denied every time. To be honest, given all the reports she had viewed where Lewis's name had popped up, she wasn't surprised about the circumstances that lead to their first meeting. 

While Foster raged in the first interrogation room, Lewis was singing quietly to herself in the second. Experience, and notes from Lewis, said it would be best to let Foster tire herself out before speaking to her. That meant that the lowly intern was up to bat first. 

She entered the room with the prowl of a jungle cat that had its eyes on its next meal. Lewis raised her dark eyebrows and offered her a grin, looking totally at ease. The youth today were so desensitized to authority figures. “Miss Lewis, you realize that you broke several laws when you found your way into SHIELD's servers?”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Darcy Lewis didn't look the least bit sorry. “But if we're bringing up wrong doings, I hope you don't plan on glossing over how you and yours lied to get us out of the way.”

Maria leaned back in her seat, fixing the twenty something with a stare that had hardened mercs pleading for a second chance. Lewis held her gaze with amusement. If Maria were to be honest with herself, which she often is, she'd like to recruit the little pain in the ass. Take her under her wing, even. Lewis had several traits she looked for in potential students. Rumor was the tech department had made multiple offers to her, something about organizational skills and illegible writing. It was hard to understand them when they got excited and were running on very little sleep.

“Tell me why I shouldn't throw you in a tiny, dark cell for the rest of your life right now, Lewis.”

The other woman made a show of thinking it over. “There's nothing to stop you I guess.” She finally answered with a shrug. Maria narrowed her eyes, sensing a 'but..'.

At that moment a particularly loud crash sounded in the next room followed by a stream of physically inaccurate and colorful swearing.

“Tell you what, you call me Darcy and hook me up with some of the original Four Loco every once a month and forget this little incident, and I'll keep Jane happy.” Her lips curled into a smile full of teeth. “Deal?”

She could hear agents attempting to calm an increasingly irate physicist with no effect. Perhaps they should have had these two deal with Loki. That bakery she had liked so much in the heart of the aftermath might still be there. There was a knock on the door followed by it opening. Agent Sampson stood on the other side, an angry red hand print on his cheek. He didn't say a word but then he didn't have to. It was clear that Jane Foster's life was on line should the situation continue. She nodded and he closed the door with a snap.

Her attention back on the blackmailing little upstart, “The original recipe for those drinks is illegal in the US.”

Darcy hummed in mock thought. “Those dudes in tech are always bribing me with them, so I guess I just thought you guys had a stash of them somewhere.”

It took more effort than she would have liked to admit not to allow the corner of her lips to twitch. They stared at each other for a good long minute, muted swears drifting through the wall separating them and a rabid woman. At the sound of a sharp and frantic knock on the one way mirror glass, Maria stood and extended her hand. “Deal.”

“Darcy?”

She rolled her eyes. “Darcy.”

Darcy had then been let into the room with Foster. She wrapped the other woman in a hug and mumbled something in her ear. Whatever it was, the doctor calmed down almost immediately, leaving an unsettled feeling in Maria's stomach. It was a feeling cultivated from bullets, poison and betrayal. Something wasn't right. 

Her suspicion was proven right minutes later as the two women walked down the hallway and Foster leaned in close to whisper terribly loud in her co-conspirator's ear. “You got her to agree to the Four Loco, right?”

Darcy's eyes widened comically as her head turned to shush Foster. Their eyes locked and Maria raised her eyebrows. “We had a deal!” She shouted before both women scampered out of sight. 

She didn't know whether to take Coulson or Sitwell's approach to the woman. For now, she'd teeter back and fourth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you have expressed interest in continuing some of the chapters such as Sitwell and his increasing dislike for Darcy. No promises, but I may do write a one shot about it. I've been toying with the idea of writing this all from Darcy's POV after I finish. But again, no promises.


	10. Ian Boothby

Ian had stayed behind to talk to his professor before he left for the weekend. A quick question and then he was off to his flat to finish up his term paper. The last thing he expected was to run into a small and soft object with a wicked sharp tongue. It was the first time he had heard a woman swear in such a vulgar way. 

Quick to reclaim his manners, he helped the woman up. She glared at him through a mess of long, dark hair. “I really am quite sorry.” He apologized again, and debated straitening her knit cap which had gone askew during the tumble. 

She waved him off, “Yeah, yeah, I got it, you're sorry.” Then she gave him a once over, pausing at the two text books in his hands. “Say, you wouldn't happen to be a scientist in training, would you?”

Ian blinked, a bit dumbstruck at the question. “Um, studying particle physicist, actually.”

The way she was walking around him and humming to herself reminded him of the time his father had bought a used car. When she stood before him once more, grinning, she nodded. “Do you know who Jane Foster is?”

Another surprise. He had always been told not to judge a book by its cover, but this girl didn't look the type to study physics and maths. “Doctor Jane Foster, of the Foster Theory?”

Her grin widened into a smile. “That's the one, how would you like to meet her?”

“I didn't know she was visiting the University, is she here for a lecture?” He looked around as though he might spot her. Of course, she was no where in sight.

“Not here, at her lab.” She made a funny sort of face at the last word. “She needs help with something sciencey and is looking for temporary intern.”

“Doctor Foster has a lab here in London?”

The girl waved her hand in a noncommittal manner. “Like your internship, the lab is temporary. We're based at Culver. I'm Darcy Lewis, Jane's assistant.” She stuck out her hand.

Ian had to quickly juggle his books and notebooks to shake her hand. “Ian Boothby.”

She didn't seem to have heard him, or she didn't care, as she spun on her heel and started walking. It was a bit hard to pin down Americans and their quirks. “Great, so you can come with me and then we can go get Jane and maybe even find Erik.”

Despite his long legs, he still had to trot to catch up with the much shorter woman now beside him. “I'm sorry, whose Erik?”

“Erik Selvig”

“Doctor Selvig?” He asked, surprised. He had never expected to meet so many big names today or for the next decade or so. “The astrophysicist?”

“Yep, that's the one.” They reached a station wagon parked half on the curb and on the wrong side of the street. “Alright, Intern, in the back with the equipment.”

He reached for the door handle. “Ian, my names Ian.”

She didn't respond as she plopped into the drivers seat.


	11. Heimdall

As the all seeing gate keeper, Heimdall watched over billions of souls everyday. The absolute good, the absolute evil and everyone in between. There were souls that sparkled and blinked, some were so dim that he could hardly see them, and then there were the truly rare, the ones that shown with a brilliant warmth. There were only maybe twenty thousand in the nine realms who fell into the latter group, his Queen, Frigga, had been one of them and the brightest of all. 

These shinning souls didn't always go on to accomplish great feats, more often than not, they lead perfectly ordinary lives. What distinguished them from the other four billion souls under his watch was the way they drew others to them. Like moths to a flame. All types gathered to bask in the cheer and support that flowed around them. The sparking live wires like Thor, or the cool shimmering ones like Loki, even the one that blipped in and out of existence like that one peculiar mortal on Midgard.

Heimdall liked to keep these particular souls in view to draw on their strength and love when he bore witness to atrocities across the realms. So when Odin banished Thor to Midgard, he was happy to see that he had fallen into the direct path of Darcy Lewis's shining soul, quite literally. In an attempt to avoid him, the glittering soul of Jane Foster forced her hand and hit the fallen prince head on as her type was so often to do. 

He may have taken a little too much pleasure when his prince had fallen to the might of the mere mortals not once, but four times. Three of those times being at the hands of the two women he soon counted as friends. Even after Thor had proven himself a worthy prince once more, Heimdall continued to watch the two women. Jane Foster, out of request by Thor. Darcy Lewis, because her shine grew brighter and warmer everyday.

So after the Battle of Greenwich, when Malekith and the Dark Elves had been defeated, Thor brought his three mortal friends to Asgard. It was the first time he would meet Darcy Lewis face to face. While quite inelegant in her speech and walk, her soul was just as he suspected it to be. It was almost as if his Queen were standing next to him one last time.

“Welcome to Asgard, Jane Foster, Erik Selvig and Darcy Lewis.” He greeted with a smile. 

Thor's beloved offered him a polite nod which Erik Selvig quickly emulated. Darcy Lewis openly gaped at him in wonder. It had been a very long time since he had last been on the receiving end of such an emotion so openly portrayed. “You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Sorry, Thor.” These words were said with no shame and such conviction that Heimdall found himself chuckling at her honesty. Thor joined in.

“Really, Darcy?” Jane Foster linked her arm with that of Darcy Lewis and led her away. “I can't take you anywhere.”

After that day, whenever Thor would return from Midgard, there would always be a treat of some sort from Darcy Lewis. It was souls like hers that kept him grounded and it was her sweets that kept his belly full on those long nights of his watch. Somehow the two always seemed to coincide with each other.


	12. Loki

Loki in Odin's skin, watched Thor lead his mortal pet and her two companions forward into the throne chambers. He of course recognized Erik Selvig immediately, the little puppet that had built the machine to open the portal. A shame he still had enough state of mind to remember the fail safe he had him build in for when Thanos inevitably betrayed him. Jane Foster was easy to spot, no longer in her gown but simple Midgard clothing and clinging to Thor's arm as so many others had in the past. 

The last he assumed must be Jane Foster's subordinate. Drew Louis? No, that wasn't right. Selvig had rambled on about her often enough during their work together. What was it?

“Father, allow me to introduce you to Erik Selvig and Darcy Lewis, their help during the Battle of Greenwich was invaluable. And of course you remember, Jane.” That's right, it was Darcy Lewis.

Loki ignored the tempered glare from Thor's pet, the sickening adoration from Thor, and the hesitant respect of Selvig. Instead he let his attention settle on Darcy Lewis, a voluptuous creature by any standards. If he were in the habit to bed lesser beings as his brother was, than he might be tempted to allow her into his chambers. But he wouldn't stoop that low, not now, when he held the throne of Asgard. And she wasn't quite special enough to over look all the points against her. 

“On behalf of Asgard and all its people, I thank you for your service against our mutual enemies.” Did Odin ever feel the bile rise in his throat over such political pleasantries? “Is there anything I can offer you as reward for my gratitude?”

Both scientists refused any type of blessings, red faced and stuttering. The third mortal, while pleasing to the eye was useless all the same, spoke up. “What are you offering?”

“Darcy!” Selvig didn't look as scandalized as his tone implied. Likely used to the younger woman's ways.

“What! We helped save the universe and it's not like I'm gonna shake him down for the throne.” 

Thor threw who he thought to be Odin a pacifying look meant to tell him that her words were meant to be taken in jest. Lucky for the four fools before him that he wasn't Odin. Loki knew first hand just how wound the Allfather was and had no patience for simple jokes. As it was, he had a role to play and thinned his lips in annoyance.

“Darcy, we live in the universe too,” Jane Foster turned back to look at him with a large phony smile. “Really, thank you-”

Darcy Lewis physically stopped her superior from speaking by placing a hand over her mouth. “Can you give me a protection amulet or something?” She turned back to her fellows. “We get in these situations a lot, it can't hurt, right?”

Erik Selvig and Jane Foster both paused as they thought over her, admittedly spot on, logic. “Actually, can we get one each?”

He saw it now. Foster and Selvig were the geniuses but Darcy Lewis was the only one with any sense. All together, they could function as a full person. With a wave of his hand he granted them their requests and dismissed them from his audience.


	13. Brock Rumlow

Brock stopped in front of the white stoned building, checking the address against the hastily scrawled note in his hand. According to Agent Dorsey, Dr. Foster and her merry bunch of lunatics refused to be debriefed and so far eluded any attempts to do so. The last try had reportedly involved some inventive tampering of the doorbell that had ended with singed eyebrows for Dorsey. That's why he and Jack had been called to deal with the two women, the crazy old man, and possibly a Thunder God. 

Apparently the rainbow bridge had been repaired and now Thor was using it to make booty calls to Foster. 

Hopefully he wasn't in at the moment. Just because Brock was on friendly terms with Rogers didn't mean he was wanted to get anywhere near Thor's bad side. Everyone in the world had seen the footage of him and the Hulk tackling those colossal flying alien whales (no one really knew what the hell they were called) on equal footing.

Looking to Jack, he jerked his head to the door indicating they were at the right place. Just as he was opening the door, a screech of tires and a blaring of horns sounded behind him on the street. Turning, he saw a red station wagon cut out in front of a dairy truck and across the opposite lane of traffic to pull into an empty spot right in front of him and Jack. The car was parked on the wrong side of the street.

A moment later a small woman in a gray pea coat and knit hat stepped out of the car, her long dark hair catching in the wind. Brock was just starting to realize that she was the intern, the one Sitwell hated so much, when she spotted them. “You guys look like jack booted SHIELD thugs.”

Sitwell had always been a pretty good judge of character. 

“Agent Rumlow,” He nodded toward Jack, “and Rollins. We've come to debrief you.”

She snorted and walked around to the trunk of the car. “You'll have to buy me a drink first before I let you anywhere near my briefs.” 

Then again, he looked her over, she had a certain charm about her.

“You SHIELD guys have a lot of ass kissing to do.” She said as she pulled out a bag of groceries. “Might as well start with mine, grab a bag.”

And without further comment, walked passed them both and into the building. Brock looked back to Jack and shrugged. It looked like his partner shared Sitwell's opinion. Good thing he was the leader of the STRIKE team and Jack's immediate SO. The last thing anyone needed was an angry god raining lightning down on them because Jack got a little trigger happy as he often did. 

“Intern! Go get the rest of the food with the thugs!” She shouted from the stairwell.

A moment later, a tall skinny boy came out with slumped shoulders. “M'names Ian.” He said a bit hopefully, but resigned all the same. Then walked past them and loaded his arms with bags.


	14. Melinda May

“Agent May,” Melinda turned to see a mousy haired young woman. The SHIELD badge pinned to her lapel identified her as Agent Hunt. Probably fresh out of the Academy and only here for crowd control. “There's a woman whose asking for Agent Coulson.” Agent Hunt's brown eyes slide to the crowd of on lookers behind the blue painted saw horses that kept them at bay. 

“Which one?” Her clipped words made the junior agent flinch. She'd learn soon enough to toughen up. More importantly, who was this woman that knew Coulson was alive? It was need-to-know knowledge only among agents and no-need-to-know for civilians.

Hunt pointed a little to the left. “The one with the red lipstick and the hat.”

While not the best description, Melinda spotted the woman immediately. Not many women could pull of such a lurid shade of red. The woman waved excitedly once she saw their attention was on her. “Did she say what her name was?”

“Uh-” Hunt faltered.

Melinda stopped her before she could form an excuse. “Inform Agent Coulson.” And then she was stalking toward the unknown woman who knew too much. The woman was smiling wide enough that Melinda felt a twitch coming on. “Come with me,” Her tone left no room for argument and caused two of the civilians next to the woman to step back less they be mistaken for associating with the obvious troublemaker.

The woman with the lipstick darted around the saw horse and followed Melinda as she lead her into the alley between the library they were using as a home base and a deli that now had no south wall. Once out of sight and hearing range she rounded on the other woman and schooled her face to convey quiet menace. “Who are you and how do you know Phil Coulson?”

“Darcy Lewis,” She said without a hint of faltering, “and Phil's my sugar daddy.”

“He's what!?”

Melinda's eye did twitch that time. A combination of the woman before her and Skye eavesdropping in the window above them. Likely FitzSimmons was there with her.

“Miss Lewis.” The cause of her current headache strolled around the corner looking far too composed.

Lewis spun around, her insultingly bright lips splitting into a wide smile. “Phil!” She ran off and enveloped Coulson into a hug he was clearly comfortable with. Even reaching up to return the embrace and pat her back.

She hoped he read the scorching look she shot him over the younger woman's shoulder. He returned a thin lipped nod and escorted Lewis out of the alley with a hand on her back. The woman was babbling in low excited tones about something or other.

Melinda watched until the two were out of sight before addressing the nosy members of her team hanging out of the window above her. “Don't you four have something better to be doing?”

She looked up to see FitzSimmons duck out of sight with a squeak and muttering. Skye continued to lean out of the window to the point she was in danger of falling out. Ward stiffened at the razor sharp looking she was giving them and quickly pulled Skye in despite her protests. It was days like today that she wished she had just kept her desk job.


	15. Alexander Peirce

While Doctor Foster was brilliant, a true genius even, she was a handful. Her written reports detailing whatever mayhem she had most recently found herself in the epicenter of were always laced with insults and accusations. The woman didn't even try to veil her burning words and used an excessive amount of exclamations to make her point. Agents sometimes liked to quote her creative words to insult each other as a running joke.

Doctor Selvig's reports had always been detailed and to the point. Then Loki happened and that changed drastically. These days his reports were ramblings and tangents with half finished equations in the margins. Once, there had been seven pages devoted to a childhood anecdote that included his mothers recipe for lapskaus for which the tale centered around. As it turns out lapskaus is a beef stew that was just as good as Selvig claimed and had become a staple during the winter in the cafeteria.

Darcy Lewis was not a genius, in fact, there was nothing extraordinary about her. Well, perhaps, other than her ability to surround herself with powerful and important people. In any case, what distinguished her to Alexander, was her reports. Specifically, her latest hand written report that detailed her account of the events in London. Among the juvenile drawings and ridiculous rantings, were two very important sentences that everyone else had skimmed over as a part of her ludicrous waste of paper and time.

_All of this leads me to believe that the Nazi organization known as Hydra is still thriving and has made it's new home in the heart of SHIELD. I'm calling it now so don't come crying to me when they try to take over the world again._

Agents Rumlow and Rollins had been the ones to take their statements because all three were exceedingly difficult and enjoyed being so. Rumlow had written off her suspicions as a joke. Rollins had recommended her assassination. Sitwell had weighed in on it by suggesting the asset be the one to do the deed. At first his obsession with Lewis had been amusing, but now it was bordering along mania and that was unacceptable for an agent of Hydra.

In the end, he had decided to discreetly question Miss Lewis in person when she and Doctor Foster came to Triskelion two weeks after the latest alien invasion. It was perfect timing really, that the R&D department had developed a new device or some such for Foster to use. Now he didn't need to invent some reason for them to visit headquarters.

“Ah, Doctor Foster,” He said as he so happened upon the two women in the lobby.

Doctor Foster turned to him with the wide eyes of someone whose been in the dark and is surprised when the light is suddenly turned on. There was zero recognition as she blinked rapidly before a strained smile twisted her lips up. “Hello,...”

There was nothing discreet about the elbow she lodged into her assistants rib cage. Lewis wasn't much better and her yelp of indignation and pain echoed loudly through the large and open space. Several heads turned their way but didn't pause before they went on about their business. “What?” She snapped and then gaped when her eyes darted up.

For one shining moment, Alexander thought that he was the object of her awe. He had many world wide recognized accomplishments and even more that had to remain in the dark, at least for another three weeks. The file he had pulled on Lewis was as extensive as Foster's was and had her life listed out in detail for him to see. Even the essay she had written on him that had earned her admission to Culver. He was also in her direct line of sight. So when she whispered her next words in wonder, it was understandable that he sympathize with Jasper for the moment.

“Holy shit! It's Captain America!”

Foster leaned to look around him. “Where?”

Lewis was outright pointing as Steve Rogers moved across the floor to stand in front of one of the four elevators on the south wall. “He kinda dresses like my Grandma's honey bun.” She whispered. Both her and Foster were leaning at a dangerous angle with their heads tilted. “Lester doesn't have an ass that fine though. He doesn't have an ass at all.”

“Why not?”

Both women seemed to have forgot his presence completely at this point.

“Grandma says it fell off at the end of the eighties. Something about Atlantic City and an all you can eat shrimp buffet.”

“Senator Pierce,” Alexander turned to see a junior agent walking up to him and the two oblivious women. “Councilman Rockwell arrived early for your meeting and is waiting in your office now.”

Rockwell was either early or late but never on time. “I'll be along in just a minute.” The agent nodded and left, glancing at the two women out of the corner of his eyes.

Turning back to the two, he was confronted with a hissed conversation between the two. The subject rapidly changing from muscle mass in Roger's ass in comparison with Thor's to hair plugs to the super soldier serum and so on. It became quiet clear that he wouldn't be questioning Lewis today. When he left them, without a word to either, they were arguing about the types of undergarments Roger's wore or if he wore any at all.

Perhaps Jasper was onto something after all with Darcy Lewis. She was clearly a bad influence on Doctor Foster if she can reduce one of the greatest minds of the times to such antics in public. Nick would need to be taken care of before Project Insight launched. It seemed ashamed to stow the asset away so quickly.


	16. Antonie Triplett

“You don't look like a jack booted thug.” Tripp looked up from his phone just as a finger poked curiously into his side. He followed the digit up an arm to a woman with dark pink lips and long dark curls. She was staring unabashed at his chest. “Those are definitely super spy muscles though.”

“Huh?” Not the most eloquent moment of his life. But the woman running her fingertips down his bicep probably wouldn't hold it against him.

As an agent of SHIELD, many strange things had happened to him. As a resident of Washington D.C., less strange, but still out of the ordinary things had happened to him. Being felt up by a cute girl while he waited in line the Coffee Bean was right on up their on his list of strange occurrences.

Top fifty at the most. 

“Say, you wouldn't happen to belong to that agency I'm not supposed to talk about with too many letters, would you?” She peered up at him for the first time with amusement dancing in her dark blue eyes.

Top twenty.

He glanced around the coffee shop and even out the window for a brief moment, but nothing struck him as suspicious. Certainly not the woman beside him. While strange and quirky, nothing in his instincts so much as whispered danger let alone screamed it. 

“And how do you know about SHIELD?” He lowered his voice as the line moved forward so as not to be heard be any of the other patrons. 

She waved a hand in a dismissive manner and looked back down to the arms he had folded across his chest. No one would blame him for flexing just a little bit. She was cute after all. “They fund my bosses research.” It appeared to take effort for her to tear her eyes away from his arms, but not before her feather light touched danced across the skin of his forearm. “So your a super spy, right?”

“Usually we go by agent.” The wink he threw her earned him a wide smile and a chuckle. 

“So, hypothetically speaking,” She started and they moved forward in the line. “Say an 'agent' was stalking someone whose boss is funded by an 'agency with too many letters', what's the protocol on that?”

Top fifteen.

Brows raised, he scanned the area once more. “Hypothetically, huh?” She nodded and glanced out of the corner of her eye with exaggeration. Following her line of sight out of the front window pane and across the street to a newsstand. Two men and a woman stood there facing away from the coffee shop. “Is there any reason a hypothetical 'agent' of a hypothetical 'agency' might be following you?” The grin he had been sporting spread into a smile. “Hypothetically?” 

She bit her lip but her amusement was plain as day and turned her attention to the specials board. “There might have been some insinuations on my part and a couple of other things. But nothing bad.” She turned her attention back to him. “Look, can you just find out if he plans to kill me so I can plan appropriate vacation destinations.”

“And if this hypothetical 'agent' that you might have made insinuations about does plan on doing that, where would you be able to vacation that he couldn't find you at?” If he had been born a different man, he might have been horrified to find himself flirting with a woman who might be assassinated in the near future. 

Had she been a normal woman, which she so obviously wasn't, she might not have leaned in with a sly grin. “Don't you worry about that, I've got a my ways.” And then she looked up toward the ceiling and winked.

Top ten.

She bought both of their coffee's (because that's what friends do) and wrote her number on his cup. They talked for a few more minutes before he got a text from Garret. There was a lead on Quinn and he needed to hightail it over to SHIELD's airport. As he stepped out of the doors into early spring, his eyes slid over to the newsstand across the street a moment before his feet moved him there. 

The same man had been standing there for the last forty minutes. As he got closer, it was easy to see the tension roiling around the cashier who kept glancing toward the man. Tripp offered the poor kid a nod and then a jerk of the head to indicate that he find somewhere better to be. The door to the window shut with a snap causing the man in question to turn around and look up.

Today would reach no higher than spot seven on his list. Aliens would have to rain Armageddon down from the sky before it would move up any more. 

“Sitwell,” Agent Jasper Sitwell turned to him with more dignity than he was due in this particular moment. “Is that a wig?”

The senior, and possibly deranged, agent fixed him with an assessing glare that turned to revulsion. “You've fallen for her charms too, haven't you?”


	17. Happy Hogan

Happy looked up from his StarkPad for what had to be the thousandth time in the last half-hour. At first glance, the pretty little woman slotted as Pepper's 11 o'clock didn't look like a threat. She probably wasn't more than a hundred pounds soaking wet. What set off his gut feeling to keep this unknown in his sights was her frantic gesturing as she spoke through her presentation. Tony might poke fun at him, but his gut had never let him down yet.

The most glaring example being Aldrich Killian. So if he thought this woman warranted his specific attention, than thats what she was getting. The sleek white leather sofa he was sitting on dipped as another party sat down beside him. Turning his head he saw it was the Ms. 11 o'clock's friend. She too was a tiny little thing and seemed unassuming, but could be just as dangerous. Happy narrowed his eyes when her painted lips of promise split into a grin and she offered him up a small foam cup of coffee. It looked to be from the small break room off to the side of the waiting area. It could still be poisoned.

He took the cup all the same, he wasn't afraid of her. She took a sip of hers and let out a contented sigh. “So, my names Darcy and Jane,” Darcy nodded toward the woman in with Pepper who was apparently ranting. “is my boss.”

He nodded, committing the names to memory, he'd have JARVIS run a search on them later. Lifting the cup up, he almost took a sip before he remembered that it was possibly tainted with evil intentions. This one was tricky.

Darcy (last name unknown) nudged him with her knee. “This is where you introduce yourself.”

This Darcy and Jane could be working for competitors to SI and be looking to steal valuable information. It would be a strategic move to let her know just who he was and subtly indicate that she and her boss were in his sights now. “Harold Hogan, Head of Security for Stark Industries.” He tilted his chin down to give her a hard look meant to scare her straight and possibly spill her nefarious plans to him.

It had absolutely zero effect on her and she lightly slapped his arm as her face lit up. “No freaking way! You're Happy Hogan, right? My dad loves you! He took me to see your fight against Battlin' Jack Murdock.”

He had never had many fans back in his boxing days, neither had Jack for that matter. That match, his last, had turned to legend over the years in the boxing community. It was still a wonder he hadn't died from all those blows to the head. Tony had walked into the locker room afterward and offered him a job on the spot.

“Can I get a picture with you?” She just looked so damn hopeful. Maybe she wasn't a corporate spy. He'd still check her out, just to be sure. He gave his permission and she leaned in with a wide smile. One flash later and Darcy was sending it in a text to her father.

Happy all but forgot to lurk intimidatingly from his spot on the sofa as Darcy pulled him into conversation. Her boss, Doctor Jane Foster, was here to request funding and such now that SHIELD was no longer. SI had been taking in a lot of the former agencies orphans. With pride, Happy explained his responsibilities and if Foster was accepted into the fold, than that meant they might be based here in New York or in California. He was so into the conversation, that he didn't see the massive man coming until he clamped a hand down on Darcy's shoulder.

He was a big _big_ guy, with long blonde hair and red plaid. He eyed Happy with a frown and bright blue eyes that made him feel like he was an underweight asthmatic. Darcy didn't seem to notice and jumped up, her smile just as bright as it had been from the start. Happy followed her into a standing position.

“Thor!” Happy might have choked, but only a little bit. Thor looked different without his mythological armor and hammer. “This is Happy Hogan,” She made a couple of weak jabs into the god's chest. “He's a boxer, and now he's Head if Security for Stark Industries. So if you have any questions, he's your man.”

Thor's face shifted immediately into one of welcome and his knees nearly buckled under the shoulder clap he revived. “Yes, Tony has spoken highly of you, Sir Happy!”

“Oh! Jane's looking!” Darcy said as they all turned to see Jane glance at them over Pepper's shoulder. “Thumbs up!” And so, just like Darcy and Thor, Happy gave the slightly less suspicious scientist two thumbs of encouragement up.

 


	18. Pepper Potts

“Make sure to itemize all your equipment and the boxes with your research and we'll reimburse you for the cost of the move.” Pepper said as she lead Doctor Foster out of her office.

She had actually been hoping Doctor Foster would transfer to SI after the fall of SHIELD (all attempts to nab her before had been ruthlessly thwarted by SHIELD). Her work was solid and well organized, or so Tony's illegal search of the SHEILD databases had shown before the Chitauri invaded New York. The research she had conducted into Einstein-Rosen Bridge could produce a lot of fruit in the future for SI. Some of her stipulations were odd, but she gave concrete reasons for each that Pepper had no problem signing off on them. By this time next week, Doctor Foster and all her research would belong to Stark Industries. Along with the assistant Pepper suspected was the actual one to put the presentation Doctor Foster just gave together. 

“Greetings, Lady Pepper.” 

Pepper had seen Thor talking with Happy and Doctor Foster's assistant. The plaid and jeans he wore today made him no less of a panty dropper than his leather and armor did when she first met him. Jane Foster was a lucky woman. 

“Thor, it's nice to see you again.” She turned her attention to the curvy brunette standing between him and Happy. “Welcome to Stark Industries, Miss Lewis.”

“Oh,” Lewis giggled and lowered her head to hide a blush. Usually Tony was the only one who got those reactions. “Just Darcy is fine Miss Pepper Potts.” 

Pepper smiled, “Just Pepper, please.”

If possible, her face lit up several shades darker of red and her mouth split into an almost impossibly wide smile. Darcy nudged Doctor Foster, “I bet you have to call her Miss Potts, right?” She whispered, not so quietly. 

“I don't know why I bring you anywhere.”


	19. James Rhodes

“Hold the door!” 

James leaned forward to stop the elevator doors from closing and held his hand there. Thor (God of Thunder) rolled a dolly stacked with white boxes into the elevator with a woman perched on top. She looked too young to be the girlfriend Tony had told him about. Some sort of crackpot who had proven her theories with all the grace of a Stark. 

“James Rhodes, it is a pleasure to see you out of your armor.” Thor's voice sounded like thunder in the enclosed space. “Are you visiting with Tony?”

James shook the impossibly large hand and made a valiant effort not to roll the shoulder that had almost been dislodged. “Pepper actually, but we're going out for drinks later. You're welcome to join us.” Thor was a man (god) who was larger than life. And even though James had missed the Battle of New York, he arrived just in time for the after party Tony threw. Thor had drank every one but Captain Roger's under the table and that was only because the latter couldn't become intoxicated. 

“Yes, Tony has requested I bring the finest mead from Asgard.” 

That was a bad idea, he just knew it would only end up with his naked ass plastered all over TMZ. 

“Sir James, allow me to introduce you to my dear friend, Lady Darcy.” He gestured grandly to the woman on top of the boxes. “Darcy works with my Jane.” Thor had gone on in length about his 'Beloved Jane' and all her shining qualities during that memorable after party. Truthfully, he only remembered her name.

“You're War Machine, right?”

He nodded his head, that name would never die no matter how hard the military pushed. “Actually, its Iron Patriot now. It tested well with focus groups.” 

She made the same face Tony had made when he had broke the news to him. “They shouldn't allow all those hippy-dippy leftover generation guys participate in focus groups. They're the reason we have to reward stupid people and get these half-ass bad guys who try to take over a city sentient lime jello.” 

James took one long, slow breath as he nodded. “I think technically it was a highly modified erosion jelly.”

“It had pineapple chunks in it.”

He had no argument for that, because it did indeed have bits of pineapple in it. Thor and Lady Darcy got off on their floor and James rode up two more floors in a heavy silence. 

He and Tony were friends, best friends. Through thick and thin, they had each other and nothing could ever tear them apart. So when the doors opened to the forty-second floor and Tony was standing there, it was understandable when his tone was sharper than usual. “Did you have a kid and not tell me?”

For his part, Tony looked like someone had stuck a live wire to the base of his skull. “What!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Darcy are not related in this fic. Though I have had ideas for others.


	20. Steve Rogers

It seemed ever since he had woken up from the ice, Steve had been plagued with bad days. Part of him knew it was mostly his own fault, he was bitter that everyone and everything he knew and loved was long gone. Peggy had been the only one left for a while, it broke his heart every time he had to see the strong woman he loved in such a state. He cried with a heartbreaking mixture of relief and loss when she finally passed. Now all he had left from before the ice was Bucky, who didn't even remember his own name much less Steve.

But things were getting better. SHEILD had fallen and Stark had picked up the slack. Tony had moved him and Sam up to New York to officially work for SI World Security. It took the combined efforts of Maria and Colonel Rhodes to convince him that Tony wouldn't be calling the shots. Like with SHIELD, there would be a system of checks and balances. Officially, they would still be the Avengers and respond to major world crisis. Unofficially, they would pull every resource in their pockets to bring Hydra down once and for all. He wouldn't fail this time. This time, it wasn't all riding on his shoulders.

Even still, there was the occasional good day. In fact, lately, his good days seemed to rely on a quirky woman in a dark green jeep. 

Steve hadn't even noticed at first. He had been out of the city for the last week chasing down a lead Dallas. Bucky had been there and none of the Hydra agents had survived the encounter. All that was left for him, Sam and Clint to do was clean up. Normally, he wouldn't have bothered with his morning jog when he had only gotten in a couple hours prior, but he needed the fresh air to clear his head. 

It was as he was jogging down the side walk back to his home in Brooklyn that someones too loud music reached his ears. At this hour, not many people were up and so the streets weren't as jam packed as they usually were. It took him half a block to realize the person with the loud music was following him. Looking over, he saw a woman in a jeep keeping pace with him, her windows rolled down so he could hear her song. He was too far away to make out any of her features, but he could clearly see her singing along. He suspected she was probably off tune.

She followed him for another block before turning off on to a side street. And this continued for the next three months. Sometimes he wasn't in the city and sometimes the woman and her green jeep didn't cross his path. Those days where they missed each other were almost always bad days. It was ridiculous that his mood would hinge on whether or not the quirky woman would follow him on his morning jog or not.

Today was a bad day. He had gotten a call in the middle of the night that Bucky had been spotted at a research facility in New Jersey. By the time they had arrived on the scene, there was nothing but a burning building. Natasha and Clint were the ones who were sorting through the wreckage for anything useful while he was sent home. He missed his morning run and locked himself out of his apartment in his rush. Mrs. Bailey in the apartment below his gave him an earful for climbing the fire escape and scaring her cat. 

He hadn't been able to sit still for long, eager to move on to wherever Bucky had slipped to next. The man had turned into a greased eel. At this rate, Steve would have to wait for his long lost friend to come to him if he ever did. So with that unappealing thought on his mind, he left for the tower. Stark and Hill were bound to have something by now.

One of the good things about New York was that no one ever looked at the person next to them. Everyone was too caught up in their own world to be bothered with their fellow man. On days like this, Steve appreciated that. 

It wasn't until he got into the elevator that someone looked at him and saw another person. He pressed the button for his floor and gave a nod to his fellow passenger. She was a pretty little thing, the Bucky of old would have been all over her in a hot second. He would always tell Steve he loved a woman with red lipstick. 

Her painted mouth hitched up in an appreciative grin. The women of today were forward with their desires and it still threw him with some of the crass things they would say in public. So when he caught sight of her giving him a once over, he wasn't certain if it was because she recognized him or because she just thought he was handsome. Both made him uncomfortable. He was relived when the doors to the elevator finally opened and she stepped out. 

But she didn't leave. She had pulled out her phone and held it out while that oh so familiar song began to play from the phone and she dramatically sang along.

Risin' up, back on the street  
Did my time, took my chances  
Went the distance  
Now I'm back on my feet  
Just a man with his will to survive

He couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that burst forth as she sang off key just as he always thought she did. 

So many times, it happens too fast  
You trade your passion for glory  
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past  
You must fight to keep them alive

Several of her coworkers were staring at her, but she didn't seem to mind. In fact, she upped her game by throwing in some air guitar.

Its the eye of the tiger  
Its the thrill of the fight  
Risin' up to the challenge  
Of our rival  
And the last known survivor  
Stalks his prey in the night  
And he's watching us all with the  
Eye of the tiger

The elevator doors closed with her giving him a fierce glare that must have been her version of the 'Eye of the Tiger'. Whoever she was, she had certainly lifted his spirits. He still worried about where Bucky was and what he was doing, but now the edge was off. At least for the time being.


	21. Bruce Banner

“Hold on just a moment, Steve.” Bruce told his friend and fellow Avenger before darting out of the office. “Excuse me!”

The woman he had seen passing by the door to his office slowed and turned. Her long hair pulled into a high pony tail swayed and her dark blue eyes widened in question. Catching up to her, he offered up a polite smile. She returned it easily. “Dr. Banner, right?”

“That's right,” He took a step back when she leaned in closer to him. “You're Dr. Foster's assistant?

She juggled the paper cup and the small bottle to one hand and then held out her free hand for him to take. “Darcy Lewis.” 

Even after nearly a year and a half, it still surprised him when there were those who acted at ease around him like he wasn't a ticking time bomb. Its not the he expected everyone to run screaming from him after he introduced himself, but some obvious signs of caution wouldn't go amiss. 

He took her hand and shook. “Miss Lewis -”

“Darcy.” She smiled wide.

“Darcy.” He agreed with a small smile of his own. “Did you just add a five hour energy shot to your coffee?”

“Huh?” She looked down to her cup. “Oh! Well its a six hour dinamita.”

Bruce looked down to his shoes, there was a short scuff on the right foot. “May I see the bottle, please?”

She was halfway to placing it into his open palm when she stopped and eyed him suspiciously. “I don't think you can handle this level of caffeine, Doc.” 

He took the empty bottle from her with a short laugh. “I just want to see what it is you're drinking.” Darcy hummed but made no other objections.

It was worse than he thought. There wasn't a single natural ingredient in the toxic mixture. Multiple warnings in microscopic print lined the side of the bottle in Spanish. “The FDA approved this?”

Darcy shrugged her shoulders when he looked up at her. “I get them from Angel. I don't think they sell them here in the States, which is a shame because they're awesome.”

Nodding his head, because of course she thought they were awesome, half of the ingredients had addictive qualities to them. “Who is Angel?” 

Her soft features shifted into mock sympathy. “Really, I don't think you can handle it.”

“Miss Lewis -” “- Darcy -” “- consuming this poison on a regular basis, like I suspect you do, is dangerous. You need to stop immediately. Is Dr. Foster drinking this too?”

Foster had always been a little frantic, even when she was one of his students back when he taught at Culver. He had always just thought that that was her way, so many big ideas and not enough time to think about them all. But apparently not. 

“Nah, Jane can't handle it either. I gave her one a couple months ago, just the shot, and the next thing I know she's raided my work stash and was trying to build a death ray to use on Reed Richards.” Bruce closed his eyes and tried to suppress the long suffering sigh and the bubble of laughter that threatened to escape. “Like I know he's a dick, but can't we just drink wine and prank call him like we normally do?”

There was a soft snort of laughter from his office. Likely, Steve was enjoying listening to Bruce trying to save this young woman's life. 

“Miss Lewis -” “- Darcy -” “- for my own peace of mind will you please pour out your coffee and never drink dinamita again. I'm fairly certain they're illegal in the US.”

All amusement left her face at his request and she tucked her cup just out of his sight. Eyes narrowed in challenge, which was impressive considering her short stature. Rumor had it that former Agent Hill was wrapped around her little finger and Barton around the other. 

“Does Captain America know you're a Caffeine Nazi?”

Her eyes darted over his shoulder and Bruce didn't have to look to know that Steve was leaning out of his office now. The slight panicked look in her eye suggested he was fixing her with the same disappointed look that he used with Tony. But instead of scampering off in search of 'a less judgmental space' like Tony would, she leaned into him.

“Don't look now, but he's right behind you.” She told him in a loud stage whisper, her eyes still fixed on Steve. “I like you Bruce, so I'll distract him while you run.”

Now it was his turn to snort softly. “And how do you plan on that?”

The smile that split her face was impish and Bruce was struck with a sudden pang of regret. He really shouldn't have asked. 

“I'm going to flash him my breasts!”

Bruce choked on air and behind him, Steve made a strangled noise. Backing up a few inches away from the woman, he turned to look at Steve who was red faced and staring at his shoes. When he looked back, Darcy and her spiked coffee where no where in sight. He'd get her next time. Maybe talk to Pepper about adding to the list of banned substances.


	22. Tony Stark

He didn't care what Pepper or the idiots in HR said, a Halloween costume contest between the R&D floors was stupid and a waste of his time. The only costumes he wanted to judge shouldn't be worn by hairy middle aged men in public, much less his tower. He had made his case quite clear and even had JARVIS draw up a few colorful diagrams and yet here he was. 

No doubt some of the men and women before him thought they were being clever with their despairingly boring costumes. The winning floor would receive a boost in funding and a trophy for their troubles. So far the most interesting (and he only uses this word because Pepper was starting to lose her patience and it was by no means the best) costume was on Dr. Frennick a biologist on the third science floor. He was wearing a full on hairy gorilla costume that looked straight out of Scooby Doo. Tony was almost tempted to crack a joke about embezzling.

You'd think for a bunch of brilliant men and women, they would have put a little more effort into this contest. But so far, it had been nothing but planets, Spider man's, atoms and one zebra. It wasn't until they reached the last floor, the floor with all the hard won recluse geniuses he had been collecting over the years, that he declared winner of this farce. Really, he hadn't expected anyone on this floor to even dress up. But here they all were in true blue Halloween costumes.

There was Dr. Wisse dressed as the most adorable bumblebee anyone over the age of eight could be. Doctors McNulty and Harring in matching Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde costumes. Doctor Foster looked like some type of Greek goddess and beside her - “Thor? What are you doing here? Are you He-Man?”

Thor turned his big and mostly bare Norse body toward him and hefted a sword the same length as Pepper into the air. “I HAVE THE POWER!” He roared like a true battle cry. People cheered and even Tony was a little bit impressed. But not much. 

As Tony looked around the crowded break room with a growing sense of understanding. He looked over to Pepper who seemed to be thinking along the same lines, Dunner from HR didn't seem to care about anything but the brownie he was cramming in his mouth. 

“You've been organized!” He declared and swung an accusatory finger around at the lot of them. “Who is your leader?” It couldn't be Bruce, he was sitting at a corner table dressed like the Wolfman speaking with Dracula/Dr. Selvig. Both of them gorging on what looked like cake and pie respectively. “And where did all these baked goods come from?!”

No one was paying him any attention, which is the number one reason he doesn't visit this floor all that often. He turned back to Pepper with his mouth open to complain but stopped before the words could leave his mouth. His Lady Love was licking the chocolate frosting from a cupcake off her finger with all the grace of royalty. Standing next to her was Betty Boop (those puppies were real, they bounced like they were real) holding a small paper plate with dancing pumpkins and slice of cake on it. 

“Tony, this is Darcy Lewis, PA to Dr. Foster.” Pepper introduced.

He gave her a single, jerky nod. “Lewis.” 

Those lurid red lips of her split into a knowing grin and held the plate out for him. Tony never liked to be handed things, it was something he told everyone who ever tried to do so. Most people learned pretty quickly to just set whatever he needed to have in his possession on the nearest surface for him to pick up himself. Pepper and Rhodey were the only exceptions. Betty Lewis was no different. “I don't like to be handed things.”

Her grin never faltered, “Well, if you don't want it...” She pulled her arm back.

Tony snatched it up before it was too far out of his reach. “I didn't say that.” Using the black plastic fork, he shoveled a bite into his mouth and moaned. Darcy Boop tipped her head to the side her lips melting into something unbearably smug. Without moving his eyes from her (and occasionally her cleavage because damn), he jammed the last bite of cake into his mouth and spoke to Pepper around his mouthful. “ 'm keepin' 'er.”

And then he walked over to the table where an assortment of desserts had been set up. “Where did all these come from?” It didn't look like anything was bought in a store and he didn't see any catering staff.

“My kitchen.” 

He peered over his shoulder and gave Betty a long look. Then he picked up a platter of assorted cupcakes and left, only pausing at the door to announce that there would be a bikini contest this coming summer. Tony ignored the groans and chuckles that followed him. He needed to perfect cloning yesterday. By the end of the month, he'd have an entire army of Betty's to whip his minions into shape and bake him goodies. With his brilliance, Pepper's business acumen and Lewis' bouncy bounty, he would finally rule the world.


	23. Natasha Romanoff

Natasha watched the shapely ass of a woman bob around for a few minutes before finally clearing her throat. The desk the woman was under shook as she jerked upright followed by whimpered swearing. It took a full minute for her to crawl out from under the desk and into a kneeling position. In that time, Natasha was able to place the other woman's face. Darcy Lewis.

The two had never met, but Natasha knew enough. PA to Foster, college graduate, prefers non-lethal self-protection devices, Boston native, fan of the Patriots, crappy zombie movies and flan, no father given, mother died in child-birth and raised by her grandmother. She and Clint had also become good friends since their bonding on the campus of Culver three months after Thor first touched down. While the former SHIELD had always been extensive when compiling a dossier on anyone under their umbrella (and the one labeled Lewis, Darcy had been inexplicably thicker than was warranted her position) most of her information was given to her by Clint. 

Clint was of the mind that the two would get along well. But then, he was also of the mind that funnel cake was one of the major food groups. Still, most seemed to enjoy her company. 

“Can I help you?” Lewis rubbed at the back of her head with one eye closed in an exaggerated wince. It was unlikely that she had caused herself any serious injury.

Natasha watched her a moment longer when she didn't move to stand. “I'm looking for Hill.”

“She's not here.”

Her pale green eyes roved the expanse of the office pointedly. “Yes, I can see that.”

Lewis still had one eye closed and was now leaning forward to get a better look at her. Recognition seemed to dawn on her and she scrambled under the desk. It was a poor attempt at taking cover. Maria's desk was minimalist with only a glass top and sleek chrome legs. The cowering woman seemed to realize this and grabbed at the black box that held various office utensils. In her panic, she managed to knock the improvised weapons store off the side of the desk and out of reach. To her credit, she did succeed in obtaining what appeared to be a pen, no not a pen - “Is that a mechanical pencil you're brandishing at me?” The letter opener would have been a more effective weapon.

Lewis frowned and looked down to the tool in her hand. “Who still uses these?” She held it up to her ear and shook. “I doesn't even have any lead.”

Natasha felt one corner of her lips twitch upwards. “What are you doing in here?”

“Nothing illegal.” She said, looking up and closed her one eye again. “Wait that sounded bad, but, you know, it's true. So...”

Still clutching her paltry defense, Natasha took pity on her. “I'm not going to hurt you.”

Lewis chuckled nervously. “You say that, but then Clint tells me that you say the same thing to him and I've seen the bruises.”

“Clint usually deserves it.”

Lewis nodded in agreement but then paused and narrowed her one closed eye at her. “Do I deserve it?”

Doubtful. “Do you?”

“No?” She drew out the two letter word into a question.

The sound of heels clicking drew her attention to see Maria walking down the hall toward her office. “Natasha, early aren't you?” She asked before slipping past her and into the room where she paused. “What are you doing? And what's wrong with your eye?”

Lewis stood up but didn't let of the mechanical pencil. “I lost one of my contacts.” And then she shrugged with a charming little grin. “Also, if Reed's a liar and you should remember that next time you see him.”

Well, Clint wasn't always wrong.


	24. Sam Wilson

Sam woke up with a groan and feeling like he had been struck by lightning, his muscles still twitching beneath the skin. It took him longer than it should have to realize he'd been tied to a chair and tightly, too. His weak struggle doing nothing but causing the – scarfs? - to tighten and cut off the blood flow to his hands. Finally forcing his eyelids open, he was greeted with the intimidate sight of the loud end of a gun pointed way too close to his face for comfort. Instinct caused him to jerk back, not that it got him anywhere.

“Speak!” The barked order offered no room for argument.

Drawing on the military training and life experience he had received, he tore his eyes away from the barrel to focus on his attacker. His brain stuttered. “Barton?! What the hell, man?!”

Clint's face continued to hold an unnerving amount of grim determination, but at least the gun he was aiming lowered. Minimally. Sam sucked in a shallow breath, not quiet at ease enough to let his chest fully expand with air. His eyes darted to where Clint had moved his finger off the trigger before focusing again on the archer. 

He looked a bit deranged which lined up with the sudden hostility. Steve had told him that Clint had been mind controlled by Thor's insane brother Loki so maybe he was suffering from a relapse. Sam was going to have to talk him down if he wanted to make it out of this alive.

His head jerked to the side when something poked him in the cheek. A woman with dark blue eyes, lit up with crazy, was holding a wooden spoon, probably what she had used to prod him with. She took a step back and then shared a silent conversation with Clint. 

“What the hell is going on.” He kept his voice calm but firm.

Clint finally lowered gun, but the girl poked him again with the end of her spoon. “I don't think he's a zombie.”

What?

The girl didn't look convinced and narrowed her gaze on him. “How do you feel about raw flesh and brains?”

Probably, he was laying in a hospital somewhere doped up on pain killers.

She rapped his shoulder sharply with her spoon when he didn't answer. “I'm not a zombie.” He said slowly because this was his life now and just when he thinks he's seen the weirdest of it, he gets accused of being a zombie. 

“That's what a zombie would say.”

Clint begins to raise his gun again and it takes everything Sam has now to not flail out of the line of fire. Jerky and sudden movements weren't good when dealing with people touched in the head. “Wait! Wait!” His fingers were completely numb now, but they held up just fine when he raised his palms (not his arms because they're still tied to the arms of the chair) in surrender. “Zombies can't talk, right?”

Clint and the girl share another silent conversation. 

“And I don't have any bite marks either. You can check.”

The girl immediately reaches forward and lifts the hem of his shirt up to reveal his stomach. Sam's pretty sure she's not looking for bite marks, though. Now she kind of looks like she might want to take a bite out of him. She's cute. Crazy, but cute.

“You have a problem.” Clint mutters to the girl as he finally sets the gun down. He then moves forward to start untying him. 

The girl snorts. “You're just jealous he has better abs.”

It was Clint's turn to snort, but he didn't deny it. A fact, Sam would bring up later when he wasn't trying to work the feeling back into his extremities. The girl was still holding on to her spoon and Sam made sure to keep an eye on it. 

“So, where you in the neighborhood, Sam?” Clint asked and Sam wasn't completely convinced he was out of the woods yet.

“I came over because no ones heard from you in nearly a week.” Everyone else had been out of the country for some reason or another and Natasha had called him up to check on Clint. He was regretting that favor now. 

Clint was looking at him like he was the one who was crazy now. “What? No. Its only been a couple hours.” He turned to the girl. “Right, Darcy?”

Darcy shrugged and started rummaging around and muttering about where her phone could be. “Oh crap, its Thursday. 47 missed calls.” She slide her thumb across the screen before holding up to her ear. A minute later, Sam could here her trying to talk a 'Jane' down. The hysterical shouting on the other end of the line lead him to believe that Darcy would have a whole lot of groveling a head of her. 

When he turned his attention back to Clint, it was to see the normally cocky man staring stupefied into an empty mug. “What the hell was in that coffee, Darcy?”

Darcy didn't answer and waved a distracted hand at Clint who didn't see it. Even the kind of normal people attached to the Avengers were on a whole new level of weird and crazy.


	25. Hulk

Hulk glared at the tiny girl with the red mouth. The tiny girl stared at him with her red mouth open. Hulk growled, low in his gut at the girl. The girl reached out a finger and poked his arm. The girl was stupid.

“You're so green!” She whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

Maybe she had hurt her head when she had been trapped under that desk. Hulk should have left her there, but she had called out to the little guy for help. And there had been a spider. Hulk hated spiders too. 

He jerked his arm away when the tiny girl poked him again and snarled at her. Other people had run away when he had done that. Not Betty. And not the tiny girl. She just smiled. Hulk thought it was a nice smile. Even if she was a bit stupid. 

“I can't believe you're the Hulk!” She said and moved closer to poke at him more. He didn't move away this time and let her examine him. “This whole time you were a superhero and you didn't tell me!”

The little guy didn't talk about Hulk and Hulk didn't talk about the little guy. He grunted at her and her smile widened. The little guy liked her smiles too. 

“Thanks for the save by the way.” The tiny woman picked up his hand to get a closer look at his thumbnail. “No one's ever down her so I'd probably have been trapped under there for hours.”

As she played with the flexibility of his fingers, Hulk looked around. It looked like that room he had first woken up in with Betty and that angry man. Betty wasn't here and the angry man wasn't here. It was just Hulk and the tiny girl. The room was broken and what wasn't broken was upended and on the floor. Parts of the ceiling hung down exposing sparking wire and insulation. Hulk didn't remember what happened, he only knew that he was awake now. 

The door to room was blocked by a steel beam. The girl could squeeze through, but he'd have to move the beam out of his way. Turning from the girl he trudged over to the obstruction and wrapped one meaty hand around it with every intention of throwing it to the side. 

“Wait!”

He paused and hunched his shoulders before turning a mean eye toward the girl. She rushed over to him, nearly tripping over a broken piece of chair. 

“Look,” She pointed up to the ceiling where the steel beam had fallen from. It was bowed dangerously down. “I'm soft and squishy, I can't shake off a whole building falling on top of me as well as you can. Maybe lets wait for a while?” 

Hulk grunted and let the beam go before shuffling away and sitting on the floor with a huff that shook dust from above. The girl sneezed twice and took a seat on the floor against the only pillar that had remained upright, even if most of the plaster near the top was gone. She poked his knee and muttered something about his muscles before hopping back up. 

“Say, do you know how to do shadow puppets?”

Hulk grunted and glared. 

The stupid girl stood back up and arranged one of the flickering lights to sine against a wall. Now that it was on it's side, the flickering had stopped. The girl moved her hands in front of the bulb causing shapes to form on the wall.

“Look! A bunny!”

One corner of Hulk's lips turned up. Bunnies were nice. The girl had the bunny hop across the wall and back before twisting her hands and fingers together to form a bird and then a moose and a dog.

Hulk looked down to his hands to make the an animal too but all he saw was the shadow of his hands. He growled and threw a chunk of concrete through the wall.

The Darcy girl took his hands in hers and molded them until his shadow transformed. “Bunny!” He bobbed his hands up and down to make his bunny hop across the wall as the girl had done. Maybe this girl wasn't so stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took as long as it did. With each person who I have meet Darcy I try to capture how I think that they think. And Hulk is really hard to capture at least for me. I'm not happy with this chapter but I hope you enjoy it. Thank you all who continue to comment even after months of no new chapters. It was your reviews that pushed me to forging through.


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